_unidentified_thoughts_

the pope

the pope should arrive everywhere by hang glider

– sean locke

18
March 2014

drink

it takes only one drink to get me drunk. the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

– george burns

18
March 2014

information

the information contained in this site is presented as accurate to the best of my knowledge – which is not all encompassing! sadly, though I wish that it were. there are many as yet unfilled areas of knowledge, and very likely mistakes are present in what is here. i’d love to hear about them – i’ve already heard about some. don’t worry about telling me how bad the html is though – I know. my expertise extends to shiny paper. and guiding people to stardom.

– john shuttleworth

18
March 2014

teeth

carpe dentum – seize the teeth

– robin williams

18
March 2014

slpeling

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. the phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. aoccdrnig to rscheearch at cmabrigde uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. the rset can be a taotl mses – and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

– anon

18
March 2014

live forever

i intend to live forever – so far, so good

– steven wright

18
March 2014

philosophy

today i will be answering questions on philosophy, in so far as whether a question can actually truly be said to be answered, but then again, what do we mean by question?

– steve punt

18
March 2014

arc lamp

the inspiring young film director, michael winner, died yesterday while in his fifth year of being twenty-nine years old. he was killed on his film set by a large arc lamp dropping on him from a great height. the police investigating the accident have had confessions from all one hundred and thirty-six of the unit wishing to take credit for the event. mr winner leaves behind him a number of significant films all of them much enjoyed by his mother

– michael winner

18
March 2014

cheese sandwich

when he was alive my grandfather took a cheese sandwich to work every day of his working life… no other fillings…just cheese… every day cheese …. as a milkman pushing a hand cart… as a grocer stacking the shelves….as a manager of the same grocery store… i’ve had a cheese sandwich every day this week. … today I toasted it.

– william beckett

18
March 2014

sunscreen

if I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. the long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. but trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….you’re not as fat as you imagine.

don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. the real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle tuesday. do one thing everyday that scares you sing don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. floss. don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. stretch. don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. travel. accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. respect your elders. don’t expect anyone else to support you. but trust me on the sunscreen…

– baz luhrmann

18
March 2014

vicious

i’m not vicious

– sid vicious

18
March 2014

armagedon

ok so i can’t spell armagedon, its not the end of the world

– anon

18
March 2014

punctuation

my dogs got no punctuation how does it smell? wait hold on is it just one dog or are there two

– @manytypesoftea

18
March 2014

tea

tea is for mugs

– p.g. tips

18
March 2014

pelutho

pelutho – a south american ball game. the balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until the prisoner confesses

– douglas adams

18
March 2014

beer

beer is proof god loves us and wants us to be happy

– benjamin franklin

18
March 2014

speed of light

if you were driving a vehicle at the speed of light and you put your lights on, would anything happen

– steven wright

18
March 2014

frisbees

i was standing in the park wondering why frisbees get bigger as they get closer – and then it hit me

– stewart francis

18
March 2014

statistics

statistics show that people who have most birthdays live the longest

– larry lorenzoni

18
March 2014

class

class is just a way of discriminating against people who look exactly the same

– sean locke

18
March 2014
Crushed // Melon
  1. Crushed // Melon
  2. Heavy Wait // Melon
  3. Hello Boys // Melon
  4. Why I Hate the Sixties // Melon
  5. Spearhead // Melon
  6. Sheila // Melon
  7. Saturday Girl // Melon
  8. Park and Ride // Melon
  9. Now I know // Melon
  10. My Crap Life // Melon