_unidentified_thoughts_

origami

don’t do origami with 8 year old kids – how would you fold them…

– confucius evans

18
March 2014

money

i have enough money to last me for the rest of my life……….as long as i die at 1 o’clock in the morning

– the knave of hearts

18
March 2014

exits

exits are on the way out

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

synchronised

if one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too

– anon

18
March 2014

love

you cannot make someone love you. all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic, and then give in.

– strange cosmos

18
March 2014

cigarettes

it is now proven beyond any doubt that cigarettes are the biggest cause of statistics

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

elevenses

for elevenses see www.biscuit.org.uk

zsa zsa gabourbon-biscuit

18
March 2014

knowledge

todays knowledge is tomorrows myth

stephen fry

18
March 2014

voices

do i hear voices in my head, i hear you ask

– milton jones

18
March 2014

living

you sacrifice your health in order to make money,
then you sacrifice your money to recuperate your health,
you are so anxious about the future that you do not enjoy the present.
you live as if you are never going to die, then you die having never really lived

– dalai lama

18
March 2014

bee keepers

if they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious

– milton jones

18
March 2014

titanic

never mind the titanic – is there any news of the iceberg

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

vomit

you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

handsome

hey – you want to feel really handsome?  go shopping at asda

brendon burn

18
March 2014

moose

0.3% of all accidents in canada involve a moose

– anon

18
March 2014

san francisco

there really is something quite different about the san fransiscan man and woman. they seem to have an aspect to them which is not apparent elsewhere. the men seem to find great difficulty in finding a purpose for being here at all. they seem to be redundant. this then manifests itself in two different ways. firstly, they can just not fit in – they don’t do anything which is ‘useful’ and so simply drop out. some just leave it at that – as a latter day hippy but others take it a little further becoming a true lunatic – maybe shouting at people or things or inanimate objects, performing inappropriate actions – which then become entertaining to the tourist. like the man who is raising and lowering himself facing a litter bin and only gets up when he occasionally hits his head on the bin. they have their own fashions of hair and clothing – the chinese hotelier with a bubble perm, the growing of pony tails to hang on to a perceived hippy past. then there are the ones that are totally laid back- nothing ruffles them because nothing is really that serious.

the women however, are the new power players, the important ones and the ones we must take seriously. Driving the bus, organising the trips, sorting the entertainment, running the office – they’re bigger and stronger than the male and really don’t see why these men are there at all – they’re a waste of time.

neither seems all that happy with the arrangement.

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

morning

hello and how did you find yourself this morning……..well i just rolled back the covers and there i was

– vivian stanshall

18
March 2014

hen night

i went on a hen night once – ate 20 of the blighters

– bazil brush

18
March 2014

the pope

the pope should arrive everywhere by hang glider

– sean locke

18
March 2014

drink

it takes only one drink to get me drunk. the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

– george burns

18
March 2014
Crushed // Melon
  1. Crushed // Melon
  2. Heavy Wait // Melon
  3. Hello Boys // Melon
  4. Why I Hate the Sixties // Melon
  5. Spearhead // Melon
  6. Sheila // Melon
  7. Saturday Girl // Melon
  8. Park and Ride // Melon
  9. Now I know // Melon
  10. My Crap Life // Melon