_unidentified_thoughts_

bats

The hallway always felt an uncomfortable place, even on the brightest of summer days, but the evenings were worse. It was on the night that rain hammered against the thin handmade glass windows, the draught swinging the pale light above my head, that I first experienced the resident bats.

– William Beckett

18
March 2014

tombstone

I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I’d like it to say ‘figment’

– Andy Warhol

18
March 2014

weird

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me

– Hunter S Thompson

18
March 2014

idea

what is it with modern technology and the letter i…what is going on. iplayer…ipod…iphone…they’re everywhere. children will grow up thinking that an idea is some form of digital antelope

– john culshaw

18
March 2014

vegetarian

i’m a postmodern vegetarian. i eat meat ironically

– bill bailey

18
March 2014

immortality

i don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. i want to achieve it by not dying

– woody allen

18
March 2014

vinegar

i went to the local supermarket and said “i want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said “those are pickled onions”

– tim vine

18
March 2014

theory

there is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.there is another theory which states that this has already happened

– douglas adams

18
March 2014

rush hour

why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves

– robin williams

18
March 2014

lard

my grandad was once ill with a winter chill, so my mum rubbed lard into his back. he went down hill very fast after that

18
March 2014

fish

do fish get thirsty ?

– simon mayo

18
March 2014

pig

a pig always sleeps on its right side

– steve wright

18
March 2014

present

there’s no present. there’s only the immediate future and the recent past

– george carlin

18
March 2014

watching

we called in to watch a man watch the climbers watch their step on el capitan. he had climbed it himself five times but judging by the pictures he had of himself – that was some time ago. now he photographed others all summer……..every summer! It takes a team five days to get up….. solo nearer nine. we watched the watching for a while in amazement. The man watching the watching said exactly the same thing to every tourist who stopped by to watch him….but he wasn’t a bad sort……he just had nothing better to do

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

tattoo

when i was a teenager i wanted a tattoo and my parents said i could only do it if i had it in a place that didn’t matter – so i had it done in hull

– jimmy carr

18
March 2014

procrastinate

procrastinate now, don’t put it off

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

illusion

economic growth has enriched the few, impoverished the many and endangered the planet

– richard douthwaite

18
March 2014

etc

avoid ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

– mitchell symons

18
March 2014

telekinesis

all those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand

– vonovitch

18
March 2014

life

life is uncertain, eat puddings first

– chris evans

18
March 2014
Crushed // Melon
  1. Crushed // Melon
  2. Heavy Wait // Melon
  3. Hello Boys // Melon
  4. Why I Hate the Sixties // Melon
  5. Spearhead // Melon
  6. Sheila // Melon
  7. Saturday Girl // Melon
  8. Park and Ride // Melon
  9. Now I know // Melon
  10. My Crap Life // Melon